Confessions of a Starbucks addict

It's been an interesting year. The kids all went to public school in September. We moved everyone from the room they were in to a different room in the house. Chris started his senior year and enrolled in college. Troy's company told us they wanted us to move to NH, then they told us that they may be closing the NH office. Except for a couple of colds, PJ has been extremely healthy. Kaycee became an allergy sufferer. Tani started a new high school. Shayna entered kindergarten. We looked at possibly selling our house and moving closer to family. We decided against it because of the repairs needed.

It's been a busy year. I'm obviously not listing everything...I'm not the "long, dragging on, Christmas letter" type. I'll just say, "It's been interesting!"

Wishing everyone a Happy New Year!

So I have a friend who has been going through breast cancer treatment. She is one of the strongest people I know, puts up with more shit than a lot of people, and still has a stellar attitude. E, you rock! :-D Anyhow, I get this email from her on one of my lists:

"So, I will admit that I didn't feel much like taking part in Breast Cancer Awareness Month last October. I did notice that this year was more heavily marketed. I saw vacuum cleaners in pink.. paper towels... cereal.. It was the plethora of pink boxes in aisle nine of the grocery store that made my daughter look at me and ask if I was going to die or what my odds were.

When I first heard of the "Think before you pink" movement, I shrugged it off as a bunch of crab-asses who want to poo-poo a worthy cause. I have taken sometime think about it and I am afraid that Breast Cancer Barbie pushed me over the edge. I realize that it is now December but perhaps you can keep this in mind next year as you make your shopping selection. If you really want to help in breast cancer research and awareness, write a tax deductable check next year.

Mattell's Breast Cancer Barbie is over the top. Susan G Komen's foundation must have completely been off their rocker to partner up with them. I am lucky. I get to keep my breast. Many women do not have that choice and to have perfect body Barbie sold at a premium (This Breast Cancer Barbie is a premium 25 dollar Barbie.. not one of the 15 dollar Barbies...) They are donating a whopping 2.50 for each Breast Cancer Barbie sold. Yep. This means that they get a nice profit for "supporting Breast Cancer Research". They are guaranteeing 25000. A whole 25K which is tax deductable from Mattel. If they wanted to support a worthy cause, then why not just write a check? Why buy a big titted perfect body doll? The only thing she has in common with women with mastectomies is that they both don't have nipples. See here for how some view Breast Cancer Barbie:
http://www.feministpeacenetwork.org/2007/10/04/breast-cancer-barbie-benign-girl-and-prostate-cancer-ken/

To show how silly this is... they want to know why Prostrate Ken isn't out?

For more on why you should think before you pink:
http://www.assertivepatient.com/2006/10/gag_me_with_a_p.html

:-)

I am not crabby.. really... but these companies are trying to increase
profits before they are really trying to raise money. Think on it for next October. :-)"

"I already don't buy anything when it is sold as "part of our profits go to so-and-so". Why should a huge company get a huge tax deduction off of my already-been-taxed money?

I hate it when companies do that... This morning I was yelling at the local news channel (Q13/FOX) because of their annual Children's Holiday Campaign. I'm for most things "children" related, but why should I donate money that they'll match up to 50% when they'll then turn around and get the entire 150% written off? That's not fair. Can we say easy way to make money off of other people's kindness?

I realize how cynical I've gotten. I don't buy Girl Scout Cookies because the troop gets all of 40 cents from the $4 box. In fact, we've completely dropped Girl Scouts in this household, even though I'm a lifetime member. I'd rather write a check to my local troop and not get a tax break from it than to make the girls stand outside in an electrical storm again, or the snowstorms either (much less freeze my considerable ass off because I'm the only parent who will supervise the girls).

I noticed the other day that a car dealer here is advertising that if you buy a new car from them they'll take your $3000 rebate and donate it to the local food bank. No thanks, I'd rather have my rebate...! Not that I begrudge the people who need the food, but seriously I'd rather take my $3000 and donate it myself, to my favorite charity...does Starbucks count?

I guess not. :("

Normally I've got a stomach that can handle any amount of bodily fluid that comes out of my kids. I guess I should warn you that this is a post that may be a touch of TMI...

So first goes PJ. She scared herself. It was sad but funny at the same time. It's around 9pm and she doesn't look well. She didn't make it to the potty, poor thing. Troy gets her cleaned up and she lies down in bed with me. We get her a bowl, in case she can't make it to the bathroom again. Unfortunately, the bowl was on the floor and she was on the bed...the freshly laundered sheets got to be freshly laundered again. PJ doesn't like puking. I agree with her, I don't like it either.

Two hours later, Kaycee shows up in our room. She puked on the ladder to her bunkbed. Whoops. Troy gets up to help her, I go in to clean up the puke...apparently my stomach can't handle the smell of puke anymore. I had to leave and make Troy clean it up. Poor guy. What I didn't know at that time was that Troy was about to spew too...

Bed's stripped down, Kaycee and PJ are now lying in my bed. Troy's been relegated to the couch, since PJ's earlier bowl miss was on his side... I'm tossing and turning because every little move the girls make I think it's them getting ready to puke again. At some point overnight, Chris wakes up and is sick as well.

The theory was that PJ, Troy and I had Taco Bell for lunch. Until Chris got sick, we figured it was something in PJ's burrito since Kaycee and Shayna had bites of it after school. I wasn't sick though and Troy was doing a good job of holding it off... When Chris got it, we were worried that something in our house was bad, maybe the milk or butter or something...we didn't know.

I then realized that I was the only one that got a flu shot this year. Tani had the FluMist stuff at school...Chris decided against it. Shayna didn't get a flu shot but she's got a pretty strong immune system. During this 36 hours of hell, Tani, Shayna and I were the only ones not puking. I did get a touch of it, but I never puked. I was just extremely cold and tired, as I did sleep almost all day yesterday and slept well last night.

We seem to be all over it now. Kaycee and Chris stayed home from school since mom always said to keep the kids home a day longer because they tend to get reinfected going out too quickly. Tomorrow starts their 2 week Christmas break. I guess they get to party early. :)

I'm now almost two days behind on my "get the house ready for visitors" task list. I don't know if I'll be able to make up the time.

Okay, so I just noticed something. Take a look at my weatherunderground sticker on the side over there...

Notice when the sun rises. Notice when the moon rises. Now, notice when the sun sets...and when the moon sets.

There's something seriously wrong with this picture. Just in case you're reading this sometime other than today, I'm going to put it in this blog entry...

Do you see what I mean? The moon is rising 2 hours after the sun... and the moon sets all of ~30 minutes after the sun. Um, what?!?

Isn't the moon supposed to come out after the sun has set? Is the world flat? What in the heck happened here?

I'm too tired to figure it out now. Suffice it to say that something is just not right here... What's up with that?

I want to decorate for Christmas. My house is a disaster area, but getting better. I can't decorate until the house is clean.

We finally got Tania moved up to her new room this weekend. I'm still doing laundry, since all last week I took a break and didn't do any (since I'd already done close to 30 loads the previous week, I figured everyone had enough clothing to last them a week), now I've got all I had to do plus another week's worth. Oh why did I think that was a good idea?!?

Troy's got computers coming out of every corner of the house. This is not a complaint (because he reads this, I don't want him to think I'm complaining!) Actually I find it quite funny. I mean some people collect dolls, some collect trading cards, some collect miniatures, etc. He collects computers, and their parts. He doesn't mean to, and it's really okay. You know how you upgrade something in your computer? What do you do with the parts that you have upgraded? Do you hold onto them? Do you throw them away? Do you try and sell them on craigslist? Nobody really wants your old computer parts, and in our town you're not allowed to throw them away... So, he collects them. A kid needs a computer, I'll betcha that he could throw one (or ten) together with the old parts he has laying around.

I'm not one to talk. I collect stuff too. I collect crap that's useless to the normal population. I mean, how many glucometers does one person need? You want any given model from the last 5 years and I've probably got one. Don't need any of those? Well, I collect mail. Apparently I have a real problem with throwing out all those stupid ads that come in the mail. I let it pile up wherever I read it. I've got piles of paper in places no one needs to have paper in. I'm working on that one. So far, it's not working too well. I think I either need to read the mail right when it comes in the door and toss everything into the recycle bin, or I just need recycle bins in every room of the house. I'm leaning towards the latter, since I'm lazy and don't want to go downstairs when Kaycee brings me the mail and I happen to be upstairs. Since I've been using my laptop, I don't really use my desk anymore. My desk is nice and clean since I'm not at it anymore... Heh.

Can we now talk about kitchen appliances? I collect those too. Why? I have no idea. I don't use half of the ones that I have. It's ridiculous. I just bought a counter-top microwave. Our "above the range" one just blew. We tried living two weeks without it. That was painful. Gourmets we are not. The new microwave came with a free toaster. Cool, eh? Except that I already have a toaster. Well, technically I don't. I have a toaster oven. Now I have a toaster oven and a counter-top toaster. The toaster oven is mounted under a cabinet. The toaster is under the toaster oven. Strange. I know. I can't help it.

Today I will be cleaning out the garden window in the kitchen. I hate that window. It's above the sink. Since people don't know how to keep water and various foods/liquids from splashing out of the sink when depositing the dirty dishes into said sink, the garden window gets sloppy with crumbs, said food/liquid items. It's really disgusting. I want to clean it so that I can dress it for Christmas. I need to contort myself around the sink to actually clean that window...it usually involves almost doing the splits over the sink so that my knees lie on either side of the sink, on the counter. Actually if you put a Twister mat under me while I'm cleaning the sink and wrap it around to the ceiling, well you get the idea of how much of a contortionist one has to be to clean that window.

Troy says that his job for after work today is going to be moving the living room into the front room so that he can then set up the living room as his office. I wouldn't blame him if it doesn't get done though, since I've already made a mess in the living room with all the mail I've been reading. I could be nice and pick it up, since it is my mess. :)

Once the living room and office have been done, then it's on to moving our bedroom downstairs. That's a scary thought. I haven't thought about how much crap there is in my room. I think that Tani's window overlooks the garbage can. I think I'll work with that window open. :) First though, I think I'm going to steam clean the carpet that's in the room we're moving to. Our little dog seems to think that's the perfect place to leave us presents. Damn dog! Hope I can get that smell out...

If all goes according to plan, I should be able to decorate before my mom gets here, after Christmas...

I've been bad. I haven't been testing my bgs lately like I'm supposed to. I've been lucky to test my morning number and maybe one pre-meal bg. Bad, bad, bad me.

Around this time of year, pretty much every year, I get into all of the fun and delicious treats that the season brings forth... Lots of hot cocoa, cookies, brownies, warm toast and jelly.

Because I have an insulin pump, I should be testing more often than someone on MDI (multiple daily injections). Normally I test up to 15 times a day. More likely it's just around 10 times a day. This keeps my A1c in a good range (they say below 7% is good, I say between 5% and 6% is best for me), and it keeps me from feeling like I'm suffering from narcolepsy.

That narcoleptic feeling has started to creep in. Maybe it's just the season (rainy and overcast daily), maybe it's that my house is a mess and the thought of cleaning overwhelms me... more likely it's that my bgs are high and I haven't been good about keeping after myself. I'm the hypo queen. I go low looking at something with no carbs in it. I haven't had a hypo since the day I had my cath done. I have realized that it's because of that cath that I haven't been good keeping at my numbers.

This doesn't mean I haven't been bolusing for my foods. It just means I haven't been checking. I haven't done any corrections, I haven't matched my insulin completely to my foods, I'm sure. I am so totally screwed when I go in to see my doc this Thursday and ask for an A1c. It'll smack me back into reality, I'm sure...

And once again, I will get better with my checking. I will tell myself I'll never again falter during the holiday season.

Yeah, right.

My mother was right. If you don't sit up straight, stand straight and tall, you'll be hunched over and have back problems for the rest of your life.

Doing all the laundry over the past few days, I've learned that she was extremely brilliant. I have never stood straight, never sat any way but slouched, and oy! I'm paying for it now... After not having done housework in nearly a year, the laundry I'm doing has amounted to not only a mountain to traverse, but back problems so painful that I feel the only way I'll get any relief is to put myself into some sort of traction! I'm talking the old, torturous kind of traction. The kind where you lie down and have your wrists and ankles bound and the table slowly pulls you apart. I don't know why, but that sort of traction has a certain appeal right now. I must be sick in the head!

I think I've knocked half of my tailbone out of whack. I know that my upper back is permanently out of alignment...my mid-back (opposite the side of the tailbone misplacement) feels like someone is stabbing me with a hot poker. I'm a mess.

I know that our insurance covers chiropractic. I wonder if they cover massage therapy... I could really use a hot tub right about now.

If you've not learned anything from this post, remember that your mother knows everything and she's always right!

No, I'm not really... It's the laundry mountain.

I used to love doing laundry. It is the most relaxing chore in the world. At one time if I were given a choice of cleaning the kitchen or doing the laundry, I'd choose laundry. Yes, laundry takes hours to get done, but you have lots of break time in between each load. There's a break between setting the clothes in the washer, putting them in the dryer and starting a new load in the wash, pulling out the clothes from the dryer and folding them, switching the wash to the dryer, etc., ad nauseam. There's something special about that routine that I used to love.

My love affair has officially ended.

I would much rather be cleaning a kitchen where I get to see the results of my labor rather instantly. Give me an hour in the kitchen and it looks as good as new! Unfortunately, in a family of seven, the laundry never ends. God help you if you skip a day of your laundry routine. Suddenly you've no longer got a manageable few loads of laundry, no... You end up with not only the few loads you should have done yesterday, but you've got the few loads for today, along with their children. Where do these children come from? Seriously, instead of the maybe six loads you'd assume you'd have....a few plus a few equals six, right? I was always told a few equaled three. Three plus three is six, right? Apparently not. In the world of laundry three plus three equals ten to fifteen!

Granted, I've been sick. I have been expressly told by my doctors, "No housework." So the procreating laundry demons have been running amok in my house. I don't have a specific "laundry room" in my house. Most houses in Washington seem to have those. I seriously think the architect of this house was unmarried or somehow disenchanted with his wife. He made the main bathroom of my house the "laundry room". Imagine if you will: a 7' by 9' room, a small vanity, a normal commode, a shower/bath combo... add in a 70 gallon water heater and a full-sized, front-loading washer/dryer set. What psycho thought this was a good setup for a laundry room? In a five-bedroom, two-story house no less? Me thinks the architect was on drugs or something!

Of course there is no central laundry sorting area, since this room is also a bathroom. There's also no place to fold and pile the clothes when they're done. The job of clothing pile-upon is the dining room table's. He's not too happy with me right now. He knows that he's better than a place to dump clothes on. He's looking very angry at me right now...I think he knows that secretly I do want to put out nice spread of the china, scrumptious food, and tantalizing desserts, but he's still not happy that he's relegated to "laundry workhorse" today. Poor table. I'll have to treat him to a rub down with Murphy's Oil or something.

Do you think that anyone would notice if I stuffed our vehicle full of clothing and took it to the Goodwill? I think Tani would notice her clothing missing, but I think I could fool the rest of them. Unfortunately I'm also one of those people who likes to wash the clothes before I send them to charity...so it means I still have to do all this laundry.

Wish me luck with traversing this mountain. It's a big one!

No, I'm not talking how holidays break... I'm talking about holiday breaks, the kind that you get when you're in school. The kind that you sometimes get when you work (if your company is nice enough to be closed on holidays and not open the next day), where you get a nice, long weekend.

We had plans for this weekend. We had planned to move rooms around in the house. No, we weren't going to demolish walls and build new ones. We were going to move people into different rooms. If you know me well, you know that I don't like things to stay the same too long. In the seven years we've owned our house, we've probably moved things around twenty times. When I say "we", I really mean "Troy and the kids"... I supervise. It's a perk. I'm the Mom.

Because I've been sick for the last eleven months, I haven't felt the need to move things around. However, this weekend I found out that my parents are coming up for Christmas. To me, this means I need to have a spotless house. I haven't cleaned in eleven months. I have children who haven't cleaned in that amount of time either...well, they probably have, in fact I know they have, but you couldn't tell by looking right now. One thing about moving things around in the house is that it's an easy way to purge all the crap that's collected in the time since thing were moved last.

I let everyone know on Friday that this was the plan for the holiday break. Meaning we had three days to get what I wanted done, done.

Here I sit. It's Sunday. No one has done a thing. Not true, Troy got rid of some of the trash in his office. The kids, nothing.

I. hate. holiday. breaks.

So last Friday I had my appointment for the right heart catheterization procedure. It was quite an eventful day. The day before I had called the nurse to make sure of my appointment time, go over my medications, and we talked about when I needed to stop eating. I asked about setting my basal to a reduced amount because of having to fast (this ended up being a teaching lesson for the nurse, since she had no idea of what an insulin pump was). Lastly, I asked her about my ability to ride public transit after the procedure. I wanted to make sure that it would be okay, as I have a huge aversion to driving in Seattle. She assured me that it would be no problem at all.

I get up early and rush to the bus stop. Because Troy had to get the girls ready for school, I decided to forgo his offer to drive me to Kent Station, and I just walked to the bus stop close to our house. I learned that it takes me longer than 10 minutes to walk to that stop, which is all of four blocks away. The reason I learned this is that I missed the bus that I wanted to take. I had to wait at the stop for the next one. Luckily, this particular stop is serviced by two bus routes, running about 15 minutes apart. This was good because that meant that I didn't miss the express bus up to Bellevue. If I had, I would have been an entire hour late for my appointment!

It turns out that I could have missed the next four buses to Bellevue... When I got to the medical center I had to register, go get lab work done, then go down a floor and find the cath lab. This room is mysteriously hidden. It looks nothing like the rest of the offices on level 2. I walked past it about four times before a hospital volunteer helped me find it. Even with my excruciatingly long walk around level 2, I was still on time. I get settled in to the waiting room, waiting to be called. The tech at the front desk asked me if I had someone there to drive me home. I stated that I didn't, as the nurse said it would be perfectly fine for me to take the bus home. This caused some controversy... you see, apparently you can have a heart cath done with sedation. I wanted the sedation if I could have it. They won't give it if you don't have a ride home. Apparently they don't trust that you'll tell the bus driver where you need to get off the bus, and you'll end up in Siberia or somewhere...now, I don't know of any buses that run from Seattle to Siberia, but hey, there's always a first! At worst, I'd probably end up circling between Seattle and Bellevue or something. So after the disappointing news that I'd not be allowed sedation, I sat down and started a Sudoku puzzle.

Then I waited. And waited. And waited.

People were streaming in and out of the office. Patients who got there much later than I were going ahead of me. I was getting frustrated about it. After about 2 hours, I finally asked the tech at the desk what was going on. (Mind you, the entire two hours I was stewing and panicking about not being able to have sedation.) As the tech came back out, a nurse came out to talk with the family who was waiting for a patient. This nurse tells the family that the procedure is taking longer than anticipated because of some really "miserable" blockages. She muttered something about her being lucky to have come in that day...nice. Great bedside manners these people have, yeah?

So the tech tells me that there were some complications with the patient who was ahead of me, but it should only be a little longer of a wait for me. Gee, I wonder what patient was ahead of me that had complications?!? I sat back down. It wasn't a big deal waiting, and please, fix someone if you have the means and they want the fix! But you know, I have needs too... Remember, I haven't eaten now in more than 14 hours. Haven't had a thing to drink in more than 10. I check my blood sugar...94. Yay, at least lowering my basal was a good thing. I'm stable, not super hungry, I'm good. As an aside here, a lady in the waiting room sees me checking my sugar. She voices that she has to do that to her cat. Here I am thinking that I'm going to get an earful about how cat diabetics are just like human diabetics...it's going to be one of *those* conversations. She then surprises me by actually being knowledgeable, somewhat, about diabetes. We talked about treatment methods, and though for cats it's pretty straight-forward, in humans it's not so much. She actually wanted to know the differences in treatments and such. She was quite a pleasant woman.

Finally they call me back to get me ready. It is now close to four hours since my appointment time. I'm tired, cranky, and hungry. Seriously hungry. I was feeling quite fine, but I knew that I would need to eat rather soon. They get me ready, explain the procedure, apologize for not letting me know that I couldn't get sedation, and stabbed me in the neck to fill me up with lidocaine.

The most painful part of the entire procedure was the pressure they kept putting on my neck. They bore into your jugular vein to get to your heart. It's called boring in, but really it's just like getting an IV line put in. The needle is a little bigger, maybe 12 or 14 gauge, instead of 18. As they put the guide wire in, the sound is much like that of a pipe cleaner wire going in and out of a small pipe, or that of a piece of metal being raked against a metal sander. It's that quick ratcheting type of sound. Right next to your ear. I've never been one who had a problem with nails on a chalkboard or similarly annoying sounds, but the sound of that wire going in was just excruciating! Also, the pressure in my neck was really painful. Though I was anesthetized for the initial stick of the large guide wire, it still hurt a bit. I'm sure that it would have been much worse without the lidocaine.

At first, the surgeons weren't sure that they were getting accurate readings from the catheter. I heard a few comments about low pressure readings and weird RV traces. They ended up drawing blood for labs, directly from my heart. Then they repeated the pressure and RV readings and they came back normal. Remember, they were looking for pulmonary hypertension, and with that it's expected that you'll have high pressures in the pulmonary artery. They were originally getting low pressures...which would mean I'm even more bizarre than most people think! But alas, the pressures turned out to be just fine. They had the cath too far out from actually blocking the artery, so the pressure was falsely low. After the lab draw, they were able to get the cath into the correct position.

The one thing that bugged me was the part where they were advancing the cath in and out of my heart. They told me to expect my heart to flutter. I could have used the sedation at this point. Seriously. That fluttering was bad. It made me start sweating, my heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest. It was awful. If I ever have to do this procedure again, I will have a ride home...trust me on this!

When the surgeons were done, they had a nurse stand by to put pressure on my neck, so as to close the wound. I think I have a permanent kink in my neck from this lady. She was nice though...she just didn't want me to bleed out on my way home. Heh. The "kinky" nurse then bandaged me with a couple folded up pieces of gauze with some tegaderm on top. Next in was the nice nurse from the land of Oz. He told me that my blood sugar reading was 42. That was from the blood in my heart. While I was lying there, I didn't really notice that I was low...just felt really hungry. He was a sweetie-pie. While I was getting back into my street clothes, he went and raided the cafeteria for me. I got a nice turkey sandwich on wheat, and apple, two orange juice boxes, Lorna Doone cookie snack pack, and four Fig Newtons. I then left.

Got out to the bus stop and my bus arrived within a couple of minutes. That was nice timing. I sat in the back of the bus and started chowing down on my food. I got off of the bus in Bellevue and as I was transferring into the express bus to Kent Station, the driver told me to stop letting doctors give me my flu shot in my neck. Funny guy. He's driven me quite a few times over the last month, so he kinda knows what's been going on. He reminds me of my grandpa. :D

Once I was home I slept. It had been a long day. It wasn't until Saturday that I realized what my pain would have been had they not given me lidocaine. Ouch, ouch, ouch! It wasn't easy to move my neck for any reason. I also was able to take the bandage off. Small little hole with a bruise on it, that quite looks like a hickey. Bad, really bad. Hehe.

My cardiologist called me yesterday. The results: no PH, and nothing else to explain the shortness of breath. He would be inclined to do a left heart cath if not for the fact that my problem came on suddenly. If it had been gradual, he says, then it might be coronary artery disease of some sort, but because of the suddenness, he really thinks this is pulmonary. He told me to call my pulmonologist back and get in for a follow-up. Ugh! He did apologize for it not being PH...he knows that it's been a long time since the start of all this. He's glad that it's not PH, but he said that a lot of his patients who have PH are not happy people, and he liked my personality and didn't want me to lose it because of a disease... that was nice, but I still want answers!

I'm trying to wrap my head around the fact that whatever my health issue is, it may take years for me to find the right doctor to figure it out. Why is there not a real life "Dr. House"?

Yesterday was fun. On top of having a hellish cold with a pre-bronchitis cough, I had my appointment with the cardiologists. The appointment was set for 10 AM, which wouldn't normally be so bad, but when you like taking public transit into Seattle, well you just have to get up a lot earlier in the morning than you're used to... No big deal, but was I tired!

Cue spotlight...cue robot named "fellow cardio"... his lines: ask patient a bunch of questions every other robot has asked, listen to patient's heart and lungs, the robot then declares that the best route to go would be just the right heart cath. No need for a left heart cath, since it really doesn't look like the patient has any congenital arterial diseases, as Dr. Pulmo thought might possibly be there. Fellow cardio exits.

Cue Dr. Cardio... imagine a spotlight right on him, imagine the scenery...sterile white, a lone exam table, a patient (me) sitting in a folding chair falling asleep leaning on the built-in desk in the room. Patient is tired of being patient. Patient is just tired. God-like Dr. Cardio greets patient with a warm handshake and a bit of humor in his eye...

Dr. Cardio: Please sit on the table and let me have a listen to your heart.
Patient: Okay, but I have a cold so I'm sorry if things are rattling around in there.
Dr. Cardio: That's okay, I'm only listening for one thing.
Patient: Uh, ooookaay...?
Dr. Cardio: Deep breath in, out, iiiiiiin, oooooout, iiiiiiiiin, ooooooout.
Patient: Um, sorry about that. I'm trying, really I am.
Dr. Cardio: It's okay, I heard what I needed to hear. Please sit back down in the other chair.

Fellow enters with papers in hand. Dr. Cardio starts talking about what needs to be done next. He looks at patient and monologues:

"So basically we don't think that there's anything wrong with your heart. However, the pulmonary guys don't think there's anything wrong with your lungs. Your symptoms are worrisome, especially because the onset was so sudden. We obviously know that *something* is wrong, but your symptoms and the test results don't really tell us that it's anything wrong with your left heart or your arteries. So what are we left with? Pulmonary hypertension is the first thing that comes to mind. It's a rare disease, and you're a perfect candidate for that diagnosis. Normally we like to remain uninvasive in our testing, but unfortunately for about 60% of the population we can't achieve a diagnosis without being invasive. You are one of the 60%. So, we are going to schedule you for a right heart cath. This procedure is done on an out-patient basis and it only takes a few hours. You'll get the preliminary report before you go home. We honestly think that this is the diagnosis that you'll get. However, this procedure could also tell us nothing at all. If it tells us nothing at all...well, then I DON'T KNOW. I guess we'll just hope that this is going to be your diagnosis and that we'll have it all figured out for you during the cath. If not, we'll send you back to the pulmo's because you really don't seem to have any problems with your heart as far as we're concerned."

Patient then looks at Dr. Cardio and says, "Well, at least you're not telling me it's all in my head!"

Dr. Cardio then restates that there's no way this could be in the patient's head because the studies already done reflect that there *is* something wrong. He hopes that the patient can be a little more (heh) patient while running more tests. The patient states again, "At least it's not in my head!", going on to say, "So, basically you think I have PH, you're not sure, but it's not a heart problem, unless it is PH, in which case I never need to see you again anyway, since that's treated by pulmos...?" Dr. Cardio smiles and agrees.

Patient: What happens next, if it's not PH and the test shows nothing else?
Dr. Cardio: Then I'm out of ideas.
Patient: So you're sure it's not ideal to do a left heart cath as well?
Dr. Cardio: I'm completely sure.
Patient: So essentially it's PH or nothing?
Dr. Cardio: Well, not nothing, it's something... I just don't know what else it could be.
Patient: Well, at least it's not in my head.
Dr. Cardio, fellow, and patient all laugh. Dr. Cardio gives patient a pat on the shoulder, bids patient a good day and exits, stage right, with fellow trailing.

The spotlight dwindles, the patient goes out to schedule the procedure, then goes outside and boards a bus...and falls asleep (here we zoom in on the sleeping patient and fade to dark).

I'd like to mention that because I fell asleep on the bus, I almost missed my stop at Kent Station. As I said in the opening paragraph, I was tired!

Let's just get right to the point. I hate Seattle weather. I really despise it. There's no rhyme or reason to the weather here. Everyone says that it rains constantly, and while that's mostly true, it's not really that it's constant...it's more like it rains constantly for a couple of days and then it gets really sunny-but cold-for a day or two.

This pattern really messes with the natural way people are supposed to live. Some people, namely me, have this weird thing inside them that triggers a cold whenever the weather changes. I really wish that the weather would stay one way for awhile. I can handle weeks of rain, I can handle days of snow, I can really handle sunny and warm months... Why is Mother Nature playing games? What is it with this two days of rain, one day of sun and warmth, two days of fog and dreariness, one to two days of sun and cold? All this wackiness has given me the cold of the century! I feel like everything from my neck up is dead. I can't hear, my eyes hurt, my nose is running but congested at the same time, my throat is scratchy and painful... I hate being sick. :(

I must have some really crappy karma that I'm paying for...heh.

On Thursday I had my Exercise Tolerance Test along with another Pulmonary Function Test. Since I don't drive in Seattle, I took the Metro bus system...boy does that bring back memories of my teenage years!

So I get to my appointment and get settled in for a long few hours. First, the pulmo tech numbed up my wrist so that he could draw blood for an arterial blood gas test. That was the most interesting test I've gone through thus far. It was amazing to see how really forceful your arterial blood can be! He then left the room and came back when the results were back. The only thing "off" on the test was my carbon monoxide test.

They then sat me down to do the PFT. That went well, but it showed the same numbers as my test from back in April. So I still have a severely low DLCO (my lungs' ability to exchange oxygen and carbon monoxide out of the air and into my blood stream) readings, and a restrictive pattern in my lungs as well. They did a bit of a different test on this PFT. They had me panting into a tube and then stopped the tube from moving any air. This showed whether or not my lungs got tired while doing this over and over or not. It showed that they didn't, which definitively proved that I don't have Myasthenia Gravis. (Which I knew anyway because they drew blood to find out if I had the antibodies for that.)

After a quick site change for my insulin pump's infusion set, because the doctor needed to use my left arm for the blood pressure cuff, I got situated on the stationary bike for the ETT. Basically what that entailed was being hooked up to the blood pressure cuff as well as a bunch of ECG leads, while riding a stationary bike as it progressively puts out more resistance. I did pretty well on the bike...I was told that my goal was 10 to 15 minutes on the bike for enough data to be gathered. I did 13 minutes 34 seconds. I just couldn't take it anymore. I was getting dizzy from breathing so badly. While I was on the bike both the doctor and the pulmo tech were readjusting my ECG leads. Apparently they thought that from the readings they were seeing were really wacky (more on this later). Eventually they got them into the correct positions. The doctor and the pulmo tech let me go after a bit of a recovery and making sure that my arterial stick was completely healed.

On Friday I had to go back to the UWMC for my results. I saw "fellow" Dr. Pulmo this time. She's pretty nice, and rather smart. :) When she walked into the room, she immediately asked me if everything was the same, better or worse. I answered that it was a little worse and that the new shoulder pain I was having was a real bummer. It only happens when I'm really out of breath, but it's really a pain that I'd rather not have. She said that it was interesting that I'd mentioned that because it goes along with one of the two possible diagnoses that she wanted to talk with me about (she'd get to that later though). So, she talks about my labs being all negative, talked about the CO in my blood, talked about the fact that I don't have Myasthenia Gravis like they first suspected, etc. She then told me that I am no longer a pulmonology patient...! I looked at her quizzically. She went on to say that the ETT proved that I do not have a problem with my lungs. What I do have is a problem with my heart. It'd be easy for her to refer me to a cardiologist and tell them I need a right heart catheterization, but because this could also be a problem with the left heart, to ask a cardio to do a left heart cath as well would make that cardio tell her to get out of his profession. Basically meaning that she could order both, but a cardiologist is going to want to see me first before he even considers doing the left heart cath. So, ugh...I've got to wait some more before they can figure anything out. She told me that she put on the referral that my appointment was urgent and that I needed to be seen within 14 days. Hopefully they'll call me on Monday to schedule the appointment.

So what are the two diseases that I could possibly have? Well, there's the obvious Primary Pulmonary Hypertension, and then there's the other... Congenital Coronary Artery Disease. Now, because I'm under 45 and because Coronary Heart Disease doesn't happen in women under 45 without some underlying reason (which she thinks in my case is my high clotting factor and/or high platelet levels), then it's congenital...meaning I was born with a ticking time bomb. The only way to diagnose the CAD is to do a left heart cath. So that's where I'm at. After all of the tests and all of the crap I've gone through, it's down to one of two diagnoses...funny that both of them have acronyms. Troy loves acronyms. ;-D

Dr. Pulmo (the fellow) was very reassuring that I'll be all right, that she didn't want to scare me but when I practically forced her to tell me why I needed a cardiologist, she knew that I was the type who needed to know everything. I like doctors who don't pussyfoot around you. Give me the facts, give me straight answers. I hate doctors that aren't true to their patients. I like this Dr. Pulmo very much. :D

I wish that I had better news. I'm taking it kinda hard today. I was fine yesterday, after the appointment, when the bomb was dropped. In fact, as I was leaving my appointment, Erika called me. She's a friend that I met online, back when I was pregnant with Kaycee. She was pregnant with her twins at the time. She moved to Seattle a couple of years ago, and happens to work at the UW. We met outside and went to have some coffee. At least she didn't get me completely lost this time! (Last time, she had me going through a maze and I was a few minutes late to my appointment, which is funny now, but then I was completely out of breath and in some distress...) We had a good chat. I told her a funny stalker story, which I hope made her day a little brighter. :)

Now, I've been quite melancholy all day. I'm realizing that with either diagnosis, my life is going to drastically be altered. I'm not sure I'm ready for those changes. Being a Type 1 Diabetic isn't much of a change from daily life. Yes, you either give yourself shots or wear a pump and bolus for your meals...but really, it's not that difficult. As long as you keep everything consistent, for the most part, you'll be consistent with your glucose numbers. Sure I spike up sometimes, and have lows quite often, but I attribute that to my being stupid in estimating the number of carbs I'm taking in. I don't have to follow a strict "no sugars, low carbs" diet like a Type 2 does, so it's really not that different than being "normal". However, with either of the two diagnoses, I'll have to alter my lifestyle like crazy. Exercise will be different, food intake will be different, lifespan will be different, I will be different.

I'm really not in a good place right now. I know that other people are fighting much worse diseases, but honestly when it happens to you, you feel like the only person going through it as well as feeling like you've got the worst problem in the world.

I really don't know who to blame here... Either it's my husband's company or it's the association they're affiliated with in order to get insurance at a discounted rate.

Back in June we found out that the association was changing from one insurance provider to another. Not such a big deal, but I didn't like that they were changing insurance on us again. They always seem to do that when you've got some big issue going on. For me it's been during two pregnancies and, as you all know, my breathing issues this year. Another big change that was part of this year's insurance change was that our copays, deductibles and coinsurance jumped significantly. We went from having $20 copays for office visits to $35 copays. Not too bad if you're only going in to see the doctor for ear infections or physicals once or twice a year. But if you're me, and have to be seen at least three times a month (for the breathing problem, as well as all the testing that's been going on), it can get quite expensive and prohibitive to the budget. Our deductible remained the same at $500, which was good, but our coinsurance doubled. It was $2000, now it's $4000. For those who don't know, coinsurance is the out of pocket maximum for the calendar year, not including the deductible and copays. So technically the out of pocket maximum is $4500 plus all of the $35 copays.

Here's the rub. When you switch insurance companies in the middle of a calendar year one of two things happen: 1) the old insurance company lets the new insurance company know what you met regarding the deductible and coinsurance or 2) the new insurance company can choose to not recognize the old insurance deductible and coinsurance paid. Luckily our new insurance company chose to do option 1. However, herein lies the rub... Apparently old insurance company still thinks that we're members! So, they have not been notified that we've changed insurance by the (I'm assuming) association that Troy's company is involved with. Which means that basically option number 2 is what is currently happening. Growl!

Even though I met the deductible and was $4 shy of the coinsurance max on the old insurance, new insurance thinks that I didn't meet anything, causing me to have to pay out an additional $500 for the deductible and possibly even the max of $4000 for the coinsurance. With all that's gone on since the insurance changed, I met the new deductible with my first order of insulin pump supplies under the new insurance...and I've so far met $900 of the coinsurance max with all of the tests and new doctors and whatnot. So technically I've paid out $500 more than I should have and am really only about $1100 away from the new coinsurance maximum. Even with this, I'm steaming because this will probably never get resolved! I've asked the benefits person at Troy's company what to do...he says contact the two insurance companies and have them deal with it. I did that, was sent a letter from the old company and they were supposed to send the same letter to the new company. Apparently that's never happened. Otherwise, all of that would be reflected on the new insurance statements...but it's not there. :( I think now I need to call someone at the association, especially because the old insurance company still thinks we're members...which would tend to make a person think that the association and/or the company is still paying their premiums, no?

All I know is that one of these days the new insurance company is going to say to us that since we're double covered, they're going to stop processing the claims as the primary insurer. We're technically double-covered, even though I'm being good and not using the old insurance at all! Who knows what would happen if I did and then the old insurance got its act together and retroactively canceled anything that it had paid out? Bad stuff, that's what would happen!

I know a lot of people don't even have insurance, so I'm grateful that we do. It's just that this is much more of a fiasco than I'd like to have right now...considering every time I get on the phone to straighten all of this out, I get short of breath! Who knew that talking on the phone could be so taxing!?!?

As I said in my last post, I volunteered at the little kids' school today. I got up, got ready, got the kids all up (Chris and Tani slept through their alarms again...), sent Troy to get me a mocha, and left soon after he got back from Starbucks. Since I had to go to the big kids' school today as well, it was okay that I had to drive them, but I'd rather they be responsible and get themselves up and out of the house! So, after filling out the order form and handing money to Chris for his graduation cap and gown and announcements order, I headed down to the little girls' school...

My job was rather simple: fill out teacher picture cards and hand them to the teachers. Easy peasy... However I was sitting at a lunch table in an elementary school. Little people, little furniture. By the end of my shift, my rear was asleep, my legs wouldn't hold me upright, my back was on fire, and I had a mild headache. However, it was a lot of fun meeting other parent volunteers, seeing all the absolutely adorable itty-bitty kindergarteners...oh what a treat! Want to have some fun? Go to your child's elementary school and put a sixth grader next to a kindergartener...it's hysterical to see what six years will do! Even better, a second grader next to that sixth grader...look at how the teeth from the second grader will eventually fit into the head of the sixth grader.

Anyway, came back from my shift and was exhausted. Who knew that just sitting there, keeping things organized would be hard work? It was fun. :)

Of course, then I get a call from my son... apparently he couldn't figure out where he was supposed to turn in his order. In his 5th period class he finally asked where he was supposed to have turned it in. Apparently he didn't think of asking while lunch was still happening, since that would be too smart. Ugh. Children. So now I have to call up the Josten's rep and see if I can mail in the order. Yay me!

Looking around my room, I've decided that it needs to be cleaned. If I'm up to it tomorrow, that'll be my project for the day.

So tomorrow I have a rather busy morning. By 9 am I will have to style the hair on two kids, get them off to school, go to the bank, go buy snacks and breakfast for myself to break the $20s from the ATM, go to the high school to fill out an order for graduation cap, gown, invitations, and announcements, go to the elementary school to put money into the kids' lunch accounts as well as to help out with Picture Day. I will work my picture day duties until 1:30 pm.

I will probably then go home and die... or rather change into my jammies and watch TV for the rest of the day. I'm doing the picture day duties because it saves me paying for one child's pictures. :) I'll also get to have lunch with my kindergartener, she'll probably be surprised and happy about that. I'm already tired and it's not even tomorrow yet!

All of this means I need to be in bed, asleep, by around 9 pm tonight. I'm *never* asleep earlier than 11 pm. This should be an adventure.

Being sick totally and completely sucks. :(

A little background since I just started writing here... Last year, in July,Troy took me to the St. Francis ER (in Federal Way) because I was feeling like I had a kidney stone. They gave me the good pain meds, did a few scans, and told me that though I had a rather large stone in my left kidney that wasn't the pain I was feeling. They said that stone wasn't going anywhere, it was caught in a "corner" of my kidney (yes, I've been told that numerous times over the course of a few years), but that I had what looked like a large vericose vein on my left ovary and that was causing the pain. I should follow up with my OB/Gyn and they released me.

A few days later I follow up with my OB/Gyn and she thinks that I probably don't have the pain from the varicose vein but that it could be from my IUD. So, she decides that I should go through exploratory surgery and at the same time have the IUD removed, because most likely it is what's giving me the problematic pain. Surgery gets scheduled for September.

At the end of July we pack up the kids and head down to California to visit family. On the way down I was feeling kind of nauseas but didn't do too badly. After being there for a few days I finally told Troy that I really was in pain again, so he took me to the Los Gatos Community Hospital, near his parents' house. The ER doc was a jerk, listened to my story (told him about the possible kidney stone/vericose vein and that I had surgery scheduled for the vein), and told me that he didn't think anything was wrong. They gave me pain meds, sent me in for some scans, then the ER doc decided for some reason that there had to be something else wrong so he admitted me. While being admitted I saw a few other docs, lots of nurses, and lots of phlebotomists. No one could see anything wrong, so sometime in the middle of the night (no really it was more like 11 PM, I think), they called in a renal specialist. He came in and listened to my story and then asked me if the "stuck" kidney stone had ever been further evaluated. I said no, but that everyone tells me it's probably been there since I was a baby and not to worry about it. He asked me where I'd been evaluated for kidney stones before and I let him know what hospitals I'd been to here in WA. He then called up the two that I've been seen at and had my CT films emailed. He had a radiologist print them up on films and then lined them all up in the nurses station. He then traced how that stone (approximately 3.2 cm or 1.25 inches in diameter) kept bouncing around in my kidney. Yes, it was moving, just moving slowly and not ever going to come out on its own. He scheduled me for a lithotripsy the next day.

Lithotripsy is a procedure where they use ultrasonic waves, through a water bed, into your back where it breaks up the stone. The part I didn't really like about it was that he wouldn't then go in and get all the pieces, he'd leave a stent in and they'd come out over the course of a couple of days. Ouch! I'm so glad they have really nice pain meds at the hospital! I was released a couple days later and went to recuperate at my parents' house. Let me just tell you that peeing with a stent in is no fun at all! Luckily I only had it in for a few more days and then went back to the renal doc's office and he removed it. Losing that tube was the best part of the vacation, let me tell you! On to home...

Time went on and it was the day of my exploratory surgery in September. The week before I went and did all of the normal pre-op workups and one weird thing came up. I had a slow R wave progression on the ECG. Not knowing what that meant, I went home and looked it up online. It looks like it's something that happens either after you've had a heart attack, or it was bad lead placement. We went with bad lead placement... Had the surgery, everything was fine. The vein had gone back to being no problem at all and my IUD was removed. I don't remember exactly what she said but it may have imbedded a little bit in my uterus, so it was good that it was removed.

A few days post-op I starting having this horrible pain right under my lower left rib cage. I let it go for about a week and then went in to see a doctor who is in the same practice, but not the same office, as my own primary doctor. She sent me for an ultrasound and said there was probably nothing wrong.

My own doctor got the report a few days later and had me go get an MRI soon thereafter. I had an enlarged spleen and an enlarged liver, as well as a splenic infarct and splenic vein thrombosis. I had what?!?!?! She put me on Lovenox (an injectable blood thinner) as well as warfarin (rat poison, also known as Coumadin). I was then told to come in weekly for INR tests, those are to find out your clotting time while on the blood thinners. She also drew labs for all kinds of clotting disorders and diseases. All of those came back normal, so she then sent me to the UW to see a surgeon. The surgeon told me that what had happened is something very common after laparoscopic surgery and that after 6-12 months on the blood thinners it would be resolved. I would still have the pain, but after it was resolved the pain would slowly go away. So, I got to add percocet to my pill regimen.

Fast forward to January. Just after the beginning of the year I went to go down the stairs in my house and had the weirdest, all-of-a-sudden, shortness of breath. What? From going down the stairs? Bizarre. Going back up the stairs was worse. Going from the couch to the bathroom or kitchen was worse. I call my primary doctor all freaked out. She sends me for more bloodwork, but has no idea what could be wrong. All the bloodwork comes back relatively normal, but my Sed Rate and WBCs are elevated slightly. She chalks it up to infection and puts me on Cipro.

I finish the Cipro, am still having problems breathing. It's only happening while I'm walking or doing anything strenuous, and my doctor just thinks that it's the infection. She takes some more blood and refers me to a pulmonologist. The pulmonologist thinks it's adult onset asthma. She sets me up for a PFT (pulmonary function test) and gives me asthma meds. Says to come back in a month. I do the PFT and it shows some restriction, a low reserve volume, and an especially low diffusion capacity (this is what transfers the CO2 and O2 between the lungs). Dr. Pulmo decides that's really asthma and says to continue with the asthma meds. I call a week later and let her know the asthma meds aren't working. She says continue on them and come in for the normally scheduled appointment.

I go back in for the normally scheduled appointment and let her know that the asthma meds aren't helping in the least. She decides that I need to do a bunch of other tests, but our insurance changes before I can get them done. Unfortunately, she doesn't accept our new insurance nor do most specialists in WA, apparently.

I email my primary doc and let her know that I need a new referral to a new pulmonologist because of the insurance change. Her referral coordinator calls me back and says that she can't find any pulmo's who will take my insurance, so check with the insurance company and find one and they'll refer me there. I do just that, call them back, they send over the referral, the new pulmo's office needs all of my records before they'll make and appointment. UGH!

I finally get an appointment with Dr. Pulmo2 and he thinks it's one of two things...by this time it's July of this year. He thinks it's really asthma and we haven't found the right meds, or it could *maybe* be pulmonary histio, since PJ has LCHistio. He does a walk test and notes that I desaturate to the low 70s while just walking, and thinks it's a fluke. Whatever. He sends me for another PFT with a methacholine challenge. The methacholine challenge will definitively tell if I have asthma. He also sends me for another two CTs and an echocardiogram (by this time I've had one other CT, two chest x-rays, and a stress echocardiogram). The new echo doesn't tell him anything new, nor do the CTs, except they both show a small 3mm nodule in the middle right lobe. The nodule is chalked up to be scar tissue from a serious bout of pneumonia I had a few years ago.

The methacholine challenge proves that I don't have asthma. I swear, no one listens to me! I've been saying that for months! I go back in to see him, he says I need to do an exercise PFT but that he doesn't have that equipment there, I'll need to be referred to the UWMC in Seattle.

I get referred to UW Pulmonology in Seattle by my primary doc, since she's a part of their network. The people in Seattle say that they can't see me until the end of October (this was the middle of September when I called). I email my primary and let her know that I'm disappointed that no one is taking me seriously, and that an "urgent" appointment in 6 weeks is ridiculous. She concurs, and calls the Dr. Pulmo3. He can get me in the following week. Funny how Dr. Pulmo3, who didn't have anything available until the end of Oct., suddenly had availability the next week!

I hate driving in Seattle, so I decided to take the bus up there. That was fun, and I'll be doing it again when I have to go back. It was relaxing and took me straight there. :) It was also cheaper than paying for parking. I also got to meet up with my friend Erika, who works at the UW. We had lunch in the cafeteria and chatted about a lot of stuff...then she got me lost and I was nearly late for my appointment! That was okay...they made me wait for an hour anyway. Next time I go, I'm hoping to meet her for coffee or lunch again....

Anyhow, first the Fellow comes in. The Fellow is an MD who is getting extra training after their internship and residency. She quizzes me about my history, all the tests I've had done, etc. She has me do a 6 minute walk test. Then I get to see Dr. Pulmo3. He has me do a bunch of neurological tests. Turns out he was thinking myasthenia gravis. Blood came back for that test as normal... Yet another diagnosis down the drain. I was actually hoping for that because it's an easy fix...take some meds, get a few IVIg treatments. No problem! Oh well. He also schedules me for *another* echo and an exercise PFT.

I go to the echo. The point of this echo was that they were supposed to get an estimate of my pulmonary pressures. I emailed my primary doc and she says that the echo looked good, but unfortunately they didn't get a good look at my pulmonary pressures. UGH! ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!!? I email her back and ask if she can tell me what the pressures were, if in the report, and could she either rule in or out the diagnosis of pulmonary hypertension. She finally emailed me back today and told me that she can't do either with her interpretation of the report and that I should talk to Dr. Pulmo3 and see what he says. Unfortunately, Dr. Pulmo3 won't give me his email address, and the winner of the Bitch of the Year Awards is the one who answers his phones. I'd rather not talk to Ms. Bitch of the Year, thank you!

So here I am. I wait. I get to stew for nearly two weeks until I see Dr. Pulmo3 again. I have my exercise PFT on Nov. 1 and see him again on Nov. 2. I still can't breathe when walking, I'm starting to have a problem breathing when I'm lying on my back and sometimes while lying on my right side. I feel like I'm getting worse. I swear, Mystery Diagnosis better be ready for me when I do get a diagnosis. My house is a mess, the children talk back at me when I ask them to help, well one child in particular. I went in the kitchen a couple weeks ago and decided I'd be nice and clean the kitchen, it was also a test of my tolerance for activity...I barely made it through unloading the dishes from the dishwasher. I continued on. I don't think I've sweated so much in my life, ever. Breathing is a lot of work when you're having problems with doing it. I no longer take air for granted.

I'm so sick of being sick.

So, I'm not that great at writing out blogs. I've never been one to keep a diary like most girls do. I guess I always have just hated to write. I was really bad at creative writing, mostly concentrating on math and science...no real creative writing involved there, other than the eloquence of a good proof!

I really started this because a lot of my friends write on here, so I figured I'd better start one up so that I can keep track of them. Some are on MySpace, but really, we're not teenagers anymore, right? No one ever reads anyone's blogs on MySpace anyway... According to my teenage daughter, blogs are uncool (my word, not hers) on MySpace...as are listing the jobs you've worked, the schools you've attended, and any book you've read that was actual literature and not fan-fiction.

So, to the reason for my blog title. Well, I am a Starbucks addict. Moreso a Mocha Frappuccino addict. Since you can only get the latter at the former, it makes me the former's addict, no?

A little about me... I'm a wife and mother of five. My kids range from 17 to 4. One boy, four girls. I knew that college tuition was going to be a killer, but can you imagine paying for four weddings at some point?!? Crazy. (I get sidetracked a lot...you'll notice that about me. See, I was talking about me and turned it into talking about college tuition. Back to me...) I am a stay at home mom. I am horribly head-strong...or is it just highly opinionated? I'm a Type 1 Diabetic who looks like a Type 2, or rather the stereotypical Type 2 anyway. I love reading. I'm addicted to TV. I hate house cleaning. I hate having been sick for the last ten months, but that's for another post.

Oy! I need a Mocha Frap now!