Confessions of a Starbucks addict

But not when it's mixed with humidity. Ugh. I'm hot, like most people my body is trying to produce sweat. Mix that with humidity and you get sticky.

Being sticky is gross. I hate being sticky. It makes me want to live in the shower, which I can't do unfortunately. I have a baby to feed. Babies don't like cold showers. Okay, I can't technically say that since I haven't brought Quin into a cold shower with me, yet. :D I may try it though! He's making me stickier too... I swear he's a little furnace all on his own. What's the deal with that? Itty bitty baby ... HUGE heat producer.

Isn't there a place to live that's ideal? Like a constant 70F and no humidity? I'd like to move there if anyone has any suggestions...

Quin is 4 weeks-old tomorrow, so I thought I'd do a little update while he's napping.

In his first two weeks of life he lost a little more weight than was expected, but with lots of skin-to-skin time and on-demand nursing, he's gained back a bit and is growing. His weight check today showed him to be 6#2oz., which is just 8oz. shy of his birth weight. His ped was pleased, said no supplements were necessary still, so all is good.

He's grown 2 inches since birth and has also grown his brain...I don't remember the circumference, but I do remember it was in the 60th %ile.

Yesterday I thought I was going to go crazy a bit. He nursed pretty much the entire 24 hours of the day. Now I'm seeing why. Today he's napping a lot, nursing efficiently while awake...duh, he's having a growth spurt. I forgot about babies doing that!

He's still in newborn sized clothes, but this is something that's typical for my kids. They pretty much stay true-to-size for clothing/age.

I guess that's about it!

I call him Quin. :)

Quin never came on his own, so as planned, I went in to the hospital to be induced on Wednesday the 24th. Troy, Chris, Tani and I arrived at around 9AM and at around 10AM Troy went back home to pick up my mom and Kaycee to bring them to the hospital.

Around 11AM my OB came into the room to start the induction. I'd been hoping to have a waterbirth but then some old birth fears overcame me... I'd been vacillating between the waterbirth experience and just getting an epidural for awhile, so when I asked my nurse about getting an epidural *before* the induction was started, I was shocked to learn that they do that all the time at this hospital! So, I quickly decided that I wanted a pain-free birth experience and asked for the epidural post-haste. (Yes, I know, not a popular decision around here...not one that I thought that I would make, at least.) My OB was fine with the epidural and my reasoning, she was also very willing to do the induction the way that I wanted, starting pitocin and breaking my water *after* the epidural was in place.

Unfortunately, the epidural took THREE tries before it started working. The anesthesiologist was great and apologized for having to stick me like crazy. Once the epidural was working, it was quite funny having no way to actually move my own legs. Since I'd never experienced an epidural, it was not what I'd expected. That heaviness was intense.

By the time my OB came back from her office hours around 6PM, I'd dilated to 4cm. This induction was something unexpected for sure. All of my previous labors were intensely quick, so the slowness of the induction was frustrating. It was also maddening since Troy, my mom and three of my kids were there, and were all looking quite bored.

Around 10PM started the craziness. Quin's heart started to decelerate severely during contractions. His head wasn't placed properly on my cervix and so I wasn't dilating well. His heart kept decelerating and though it was only deceling during contractions, it was worrying. At one point, around 10:30PM, his heart deceled so much that the nurse tried to get a better monitor placement on me...and then she couldn't find his heart beat. Quin was then placed on an internal scalp monitor. They noted that I was still 4cm, maybe stretchy to 6cm, but that even then his heart was deceling too much for my liking. Even at 6cm, the way this induction was going, I was worried that Quin wasn't going to tolerate labor for much longer.

I asked for a c-section. I knew it was something that I didn't ever want to do, especially after having had 5 kids, all naturally. However, I'd been having a running nightmare that basically showed me that he wasn't going to make it through labor. It's a dream that I hadn't had in awhile, but it was still there and recurrent. I had all the nurses and my OB flitting in and out of my room then, getting prepped for the surgery. I also asked my OB if since she was already going to be in there, could she please do a tubal ligation while she was at it. Luckily we'd discussed this before, otherwise it'd have been an immediate "no", but since we had it was no problem.

They wheeled me into the OR, got Troy dressed in scrubs, my camera batteries died so I borrowed my mom's. Troy grabbed the video camera and off we went. The anesthesiologist took pics while Troy recorded.

When they finally got into me, they found that Quin's cord was wrapped twice, tightly, around his neck. It was also wrapped down around his legs and around his right knee. No wonder the poor kid wasn't coming out on his own! I'm glad I made the decision for the section since I don't think he'd have tolerated much more labor the way he was tangled up... After his cord was clamped and cut, he started crying right away and they whisked him and Troy back to my labor room to measure, weigh, and do all the other newborn procedures they'd have normally delayed but since I was still in the OR they went ahead and did with my okay.

I don't really remember much after the section. I think I was so exhausted that they let me sleep for quite some time. I remember Troy taking the older kids home and leaving my mom and Kaycee with me until he came back to get them. Kaycee fell asleep on the labor bed with me and Quin, my mom fell asleep on one of the uncomfortable chairs. After they left, I was at some point taken to the post-partum room. I kind of remember being shown where the bathroom was and where the diapers were for Quin...I'm kind of stuck on what else happened, it's a blur. I was exhausted still.

We stayed in the hospital until Friday afternoon. On Thursday they had me drugged up pretty well and I know I wasn't quite coherent, especially when I was on the phone with Troy. I kept falling asleep while talking to him, and I'd have these weird dreams, then wake up telling him whatever I was telling him in the dreams...ugh. I think he was really worried about me, so he called the nurse and had her check on me. Sweetheart. I did finally get some real sleep when Quin slept for 4 hours straight. He then went back to sleep after nursing and slept for another 4 hours. What a good baby!

Tomorrow I will be heading to St. Joseph's Medical Center in Tacoma, WA, to have labor induced. I honestly didn't think that the baby would stay in past his due date, but what the heck do I know? LOL.

My mom and her younger sister, my aunt Diane, flew up last night from California. I was still furiously cleaning when Troy went to pick them up from the airport... My mom is one of those people who has to have a clean house, whereas mine is more of a "lived-in, well-worn shoe", IYKWIM. So yeah cleaning all day, all week really, to get ready for them to arrive. It's funny though. I wasn't quite done and my mom didn't say much other than I hadn't gotten to the little kitten shits that were under the table where I couldn't reach them (we've since moved the kittens and am having Tani litter train them, albeit a little early but so much the better).

I'm trying to figure out what to pack for the hospital. I'd planned all along for a homebirth, so I haven't a thing packed. Obviously some toiletries, clothes to wear home (I don't mind wearing the hospital garb), the Boppy pillow, my laptop (duh!), camera, baby clothes, baby carseat, cell phone...ugh. The list is already too long...

Because inductions are extremely painful for me, I may consider asking for the epidural instead of doing the waterbirth. I don't know yet. I'd like a waterbirth experience, but I really would rather not do the pain thing again! Never having had an epidural, I might like to experience a pain-free (ha ha) childbirth. :P

In other news, the brakes on my Saab went out. Apparently they went out *badly*. Like $1800 worth of *badly*. I knew they were grinding for the last week, but sheesh, that much?!? So we're having them save the parts for us so that we can see for sure that the work really needs to be done. Not only were the pads worn, but all four wheels need new rotors (which can be machined in Saabs) *and* new calipers... I *do not* need this kind of stress! No wonder the baby hasn't made his appearance yet, he knows mama's too stressed out!

Okay, baby's poking me in the cervix now. That hurts, so I'm gonna sign off. :) Obviously there will be an update tomorrow!

...and I'm *still* pregnant! Sheesh.

At least I am getting time to get a lot accomplished. Last night I cleaned up the kitchen and put some things away. Chris's girlfriend's parents were here and put in the living room floor...it looks *so* nice. :)

Today I've been doing laundry, running errands, and cleaning up Shayna and PJ's room (which I didn't do most of, the above mentioned parent (the mom) did most of it). Now she and Chris are disassembling Chris's bed so it can go to PJ and become a bunk bed again. Our neighbors remodeled their house over the last year and gave us their old full-size bed, so that's going to Chris now. Shayna and PJ will have a bunk bed and I'm washing the sheets for the bottom bunk as I type.

Tomorrow I need to Swiffer Wet Jet the kitchen floor and set up a litter box for the new kittens. They are starting to think that the bathroom floor is the ideal place to do their business and I'm getting irritated over that! I'm also running up to Bellevue since they just got The Container Store. When I lived in GA that was one of my favorite stores, so I have to go see it. I'm going to pick up some containers for cereal and probably find something useless but cool to buy too. :P

Troy and Marc (Chris's g/f's dad) put the cabinet doors and handles on today. The kitchen looks much nicer with the doors on the cabinets. :)

I'm really hoping that something will happen tonight with this baby. I'm so done being pregnant!

Everything's fine. Moving slowly. :( I'm only a fingertip dilated and the cervical position is anterior, hiding behind my pubic bone. Oh yay.

Now, how do I know this? Well my lovely OB went and pushed on the top of my uterus, from the outside - duh!, and as she did that she was checking the cervical placement... and OUCH!!! she rebroke my pubic bone. Anyone who knows about my pregnancies with Kaycee and Shayna knows about my pubic bone breaking. PAIN!

So I actually called the office after I got home and asked if I could be induced this Friday, since my OB's on call that day. If I go when she's on call I can definitely have my waterbirth. Unfortunately though my OB was fine with that, the hospital is booked solid! Damn.

I have some percocet, but it's not touching the pain at all. I'm now, officially, miserable. :( I haven't been miserable, except for our weather, the entire pregnancy!

In other news, my mom and her younger sister are coming up on Monday night. Yet another reason to try and get this baby out before they get here! I don't want to have to wait until Wednesday now since they only have a limited time here, but oh well, can't rush the baby too much!

We're getting a lot of work done around the house too... New floors are going in and I'm doing laundry like a madwoman. I never realized how many pieces of clothing we have in this house. It's quite insane!

That's it for now. More updating later. :)

Boring appointment. As usual. The NST was fine. OB says that everything looks good, baby is happy inside, moving well, in a good position for delivery, etc. However, I'm still only 1 cm. dilated and my cervix is hiding behind my pubic bone. Who knew?

My OB keeps commenting on how she can't believe that I've pushed babies out instead of had sections because my pubic bone is not in a "normal" location. I had to explain to her about the fall I had when I was pregnant with Kaycee and how that broke the bone itself. It wasn't able to heal properly because of the pregnancy and has been stuck in its current position since then. And yes, I pushed Kaycee and the two following through anyway. Whatever. I'll show her I guess!

The only other news is that we've scheduled the induction for 40w3d. That's as far out as she'll "let" me go because of the diabetes. I guess I'm okay with that. Maybe pray for some labor vibes for me so that I can have the baby early, at home, in the tub. Thanks much!

I'll have one more appointment before the induction date. That'll be next week on Wednesday at 3. I'll try and update soon after it. :)

So I'm at 37w1d today. Three of my kids were born at a later time, two were earlier (much earlier). Now I wait. And wait. And wait some more.

The kitchen remodel is almost done. I have to put the cabinet doors on as well as the handles/pulls. Then, of course, I have to prime and paint the dining room. On Wednesday I'm heading to Ikea to buy the flooring for the living room and office... hopefully baby will wait until the flooring is done.

But still, I'm done with being pregnant. It's funny, I usually get this feeling much earlier, but this time around I'm conflicted. Really, I want the baby to wait until the house remodeling is complete...but then again, I'm done with constipation, puking, weirdly spaced contractions/prodromal labor, and walking like a duck.

Oh and it's 85°F today. I love heat. I love hot days. It's going to be this way all week... So then why is it that my convertible has to sit in the body shop all week instead of tooling me around all heck and back to get my mind off of the heat? This one, I can truly blame Troy for! :) He backed out of our driveway in the Expedition...right into my Saab. The poor thing needs over $2500 in repairs. *Thank you* insurance company and my $250 deductible. So I'm driving a rental Chevy Impala, provided by the insurance company, until my car is fixed. Boohoo. Not even a sun roof! :p

I guess that's about it. It's time for a nap.

Everything is fine! Baby is doing well and other than a cough that causes me to vomit my meals, I'm doing well too. (Heh, so I've lost 9 pounds in the last two weeks...nice weight loss plan?)

I had an ultrasound yesterday. Baby has turned to vertex, which is great. He was sprawled like crazy, but unfortunately no pictures because of that. Then I had an NST where he hiccupped for a full 5 minutes. They thought that was hilarious. His heart rate was perfect and reactive, so he's -in my OB's words- "a very happy baby".

No internal check for dilation. That's okay, I'd rather not know. I told baby that he needs to wait until the kitchen remodel is finished and the new flooring is in, so at least another 2 weeks. Also, my OB is willing to wait to induce until my due date by u/s, so June 24th. If I haven't had him by then, that will be his birthday.

All is good now. :)

Tuesday was my 35 week appointment. Sorry I didn't post about my 34 week appointment, we've been in the middle of renovating our kitchen and computer time has been limited for me. I'm just too tired to get online!

So my appointment was uneventful. The NST was done and baby passed with flying colors. I must say those stupid NSTs stress me out, I've said it before I know, but I just hate them! I saw one of the midwives since my OB is on vacation this week. It was quite a different appointment than with my OB since the midwife seemed in a hurry. No big deal, I don't need a rapport with someone else at this point in the pregnancy...

Other than that, I've lost another 4 pounds. I'm just not eating as much because of the horrible nausea I've been getting. Oh well, it's not like I can't stand to lose any weight!

So today started my weekly appointments, including getting an NST done before seeing my OB. If you don't know what an NST is, it's a Non-Stress Test. Basically they put two straps onto you, each with a monitor attached. One is for the baby's heartbeat and the other monitors for contractions. They want to make sure that the placenta is doing its job, so that's why the need for the weekly NSTs now. Blah. I hate those stupid monitors.

Baby's heartbeat was fine, accelerated like it was supposed to, decelerated when it was supposed to. Yadda yadda.

The OB check was fine. Baby's measuring perfectly on time, heart rate fine (again)... but oops, I've lost 4 pounds. Well, there's a reason... I've had some gastro issues the last couple of days. Not pretty. The good news is that the suggestion I got from a friend to up my iron to two pills a day helped. My hemoglobin was 11.7!

That's it til next week!

What a long day! Today's appointments were rather long. I say appointments because I had a 32 week ultrasound, the regular OB appointment, and then I had to drive to another facility and get that follow-up fetal echocardiogram. Whew! I'm exhausted from all the driving.

I guess I'll start with the ultrasound, since it was first. Baby is measuring perfectly, on time, and at a great weight (4#4oz.). I got a blurry picture of one of his feet, but I haven't scanned it in yet. He's too big in there to get any good pictures. The other problem with getting a good picture...he turned breech! Ugh. He's been head down since 20 weeks and now he decides to turn? Geeze kid! Yes, I know that he can turn several more times before he's due, but sheesh! All my kids are stubborn. :) Oh, his heart rate was a nice 144bpm.

The OB appointment was uneventful. We went over the ultrasound and I got my lab results. I'm still anemic, but wasn't told to up my iron pill. I am going to go ahead and do that anyway. My A1c was 5.5%!!! This I wasn't expecting. I'm thinking I'm having a lot of nighttime lows that I'm not waking up for. I'm going to have to be more careful about that. Other than that we didn't really talk about much, except our kids. It's nice to have an OB who has kids that are older like I do. My last OB didn't understand teenagers...this one does!

Then it was off to the children's cardiology clinic. This was for the fetal echocardiogram. Baby's heart looks good, though there's a bit of thickening in the interior part of his heart wall. They think that was an artifact, since his position wasn't cooperating with them... so their advice was that when he's born I should ask for one of the cardiologists to come and do a quick echo on the baby, or when we're discharged just run over to the cardio clinic and have them do it there. No big deal, they just want to make sure that what they saw was an artifact. Really the only thing that the thickening could be is showing a murmur, which I guess is quite common in T1 mom's children. So that's all they'd be looking for. There's nothing really wrong with the baby's heart at all. :)

All in all a good appointment. I'm now going to have weekly non-stress tests along with my OB appointments. I can't believe it's so close! My house is *totally* not ready for a new baby. It's a pig sty and I don't have the nesting-urge going on, which sucks!

My goodness... this appointment took FOREVER. Most of it was the waiting...and waiting...and waiting. PJ had a good time in the lobby, making friends, watching Veggie Tales, finding the hidden objects inside the Highlights magazine, having me read a book to her, looking at the pictures of babies in the exam room, etc. It was mostly waiting.

I got approval from my OB to go back to injecting heparin, instead of pumping it. The bruises that I get from the pump are just awful. I'm looking a lot like someone who lost a punching contest in my abdomen area. It's just gross. Plus the bleeding from the sites is just insane. So, I'm done with the heparin pump. I'll be returning that sucker tomorrow!

The baby's heart rate was 158bpm. Doing well there. Also, she finally measured fundal height...it was 33cm! So, either baby is big, I have a lot of fluid, or I'm just fat! I'm going for the latter. I also lost weight from my last appointment. Stupid nausea! I just don't want to eat.

I also gave my OB the preliminary birth plan form that I'd filled out (in the case of hospital birth, i.e., induction). She didn't like that I will refuse Cytotec. Sorry, I'm not going through that crap again (Shayna was a Cytotec induction). I'll let her break my water, I think that's about it. I don't want to be on continuous monitoring which this hospital requires if you get pitocin. So, break my water, baby will probably fall out within an hour. :p I hate inductions, so everyone pray that the baby will come on his own at around 38w6d!

My next appointment is in two weeks. I'll be getting another ultrasound, then I'll see my OB, then I have to rush to the other side of Tacoma to see the fetal echo specialist...so I'll be getting two ultrasounds that day. Woohoo. Let's hope for more pictures this time!

Somehow I think I started having some nesting urges a bit early here... On Thursday I decided it was time to clean the downstairs bathroom. It's the one that pretty much everyone uses, mostly because it's easiest access, and it's also where the washer/dryer are. There was probably a foot of dirty clothing piled up, and the tops of both the washer and dryer were full of clean clothes that needed to be folded.

The trash was overflowing, I think mainly because everyone forgets that on garbage night, you're actually supposed to go around the house and get *all* of the garbage cans emptied and out to the big can... whatever. It was a mess.

So I cleaned. I scrubbed. I inhaled so many chemicals that I got dizzy and had to open the window (should've done that first, duh!) The only thing I couldn't do was was scrub the floor...the hands and knees thing is quite difficult these days.

I got the place cleaned, and it felt goooooood! However...

Friday I got up and started on laundry, continuing on from the day before, having done about five loads in between the scrubbing. One thing I noted though. Baby wasn't moving. No big deal I thought, I mean all the work must have put him to sleep or something. I went to bed, a little freaked out that I still hadn't felt him move, but knew that everything was probably fine.

So I wake up this morning and still don't feel him moving. So what do I do? I eat a jelly donut. :) He still doesn't move. So I poke him and I shake him (well as best as you can through your belly), poke him some more. I *finally* get a response. A light tap. Not good enough! I poke more, prod more, shake more. Then I wait. I figure that the donut's sugar hasn't hit him yet...meanwhile I'm panicking about maybe I need to go to the ER and get a doppler check on his heart rate.

Fast forward about an hour... this kid won't quit moving! He's hyper in there. All is well. Jelly donut to the rescue! Bad for blood sugars, good for baby moving.

I'm not cleaning anymore!

I'm so very upset! Baby is in the perfect position for birthing, which means that I can't get a good ultrasound picture to save my life! His face is toward my back and he's sitting cross-legged. Bad boy! Doesn't want mama to see him! :p

He's looking good. Measuring ahead now, at 29w1d (I'm 28w3d today) and is weighing in at 2#11oz. Fluid levels are perfect too. Woohoo!

I got the paperwork for preregistration at the hospital. My OB says that if I haven't gone into labor on my own by 39w1d then we'll induce so that I can definitely get my water birth. I don't like inductions, so I'm going to have a long talk with this little one...hopefully he'll listen! The other reason for induction is my T1, which I discount a bit since I've had full term babies before who weren't huge. We'll see. I may be ready to induce...it'll be June afterall. I'd much rather stay at home and have him in the bathtub, you know?

My OB appointments are now set up for the rest of the pregnancy too. Two weeks apart for the next month, then weekly appointments along with an NST (a requirement for T1 moms). My blood pressure was great, no protein spilling, sugar is good, so all is well.

A rather boring appointment indeed. :)

Not really, but it's an eye-catching title, isn't it? The story...

Thursday Kaycee came home from school and said she felt sick. Immediately upon entering the house, she threw up. She was sick for the next 24 hours.

Saturday I became sick. I threw up multiple times all day and had stomach cramps that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy....okay, well maybe *her*. :p That night, Shayna got sick and a few hours later so did PJ. I was swimming in vomit. Nice picture, yes?

Sunday morning finally comes around and I'm *still* sick. Shayna and PJ are over their troubles, but I'M STILL SICK! At around 11AM Troy tells me to call my OB since I said to him the night before that if I was still sick I'd call my doc in the morning. So fine, I call my OB.

A midwife calls me back and tells me to get to the hospital since I must be dehydrated. Plus they can give me anti-nausea meds that will help my stomach cramping. So off we go. Instead of going all the way to St. Joe's, I decided I wanted to be close so we went to St. Francis. In the ER, they sent me to L&D so the baby could be checked. His heart rate was tachy so I needed fluids before they'd send me back to the ER for the anti-nausea meds. I didn't think I'd be in the hospital long, so I let the nurse put the IV in my left hand. OUCH! After 3 hours in the L&D, I was finally sent back to the ER.

Of course, I had to wait in the ER waiting room until they could get a bed for me...ugh. Picture a woman in a hospital gown, sitting in a wheelchair, thin blanket, shivering and cramping. I'm sure that made the other people in the ER waiting room feel safe! They did quickly get me back there though.

So, I'm in ER10...a room with sad memories for me. It's the ER room I passed out in from blood loss when I miscarried once. I also know it's the only ER room where the remote for the TV doesn't work! I would have liked to watch something on TV to take my mind off the cramping, but oh well... Anyhow, after another 2 liters of fluids, this time potassium bags (not banana bags, to distinguish), some IV Reglan, 8mLs of Morphine, and another 4mLs of dilaudid, they realized that the stomach cramps weren't going away and that I was still puking up everything I drank (they let me have ice chips and water). So I was admitted to the hospital. Fun stuff figuring out where they were going to put me too...

First they took me to the L&D "recovery" section. I got all settled in a nice, private room. It was heaven, except I was sweating like no tomorrow. Then the nurse came in and told me that they put me in the wrong room, on the *wrong* floor. Apparently the L&D people don't know how to take care of sick preggo people, just healthy ones. Duh! I get transported, yet again, to the 3rd floor. That's the "medical" floor. Where I don't get the window bed and my roommate is an 80 year-old complainer. If there were awards given for the most complaintent, she'd win for sure! Especially if anyone "stole" on of the 4 chairs on her side of the room! I mean holy hell, how many chairs do you need when you have one visitor at a time, who only stays long enough for you to lodge half of a complaint to them and then leaves? And I want to know whose smart idea it was to put vomiting me into the same room with a woman who can't keep her heart rate up? I swear my little bugs were gonna be the end of this woman!

Anyhow, I was drugged up most of the time, except when the nurses were too busy chatting with each other to remember that one of their patients actually "needed" those pain meds or they'd get royally ill with the pain... Would you rather give pain meds on a schedule and not have me remind you, or do you just like cleaning up all the vomit all over the place? I did have some great nurses though. One was a guy. I think he was the one who really liked cleaning up the vomit. I wanted Katie to be my nurse all the time. Of course, that can't happen in a hospital where there are shifts...no! They took her off my side of the floor and put her on the other side the next day...that was so unfair. She was great! She never forgot a time for dosings, blood sugar checks, meals, etc. I'll get to it in the next paragraph, but she stayed up with me all night when I had to have a blood transfusion. I'm so mad that she was switched to the other side of the floor when she came back to work. :(

So some of my labs came back funky. Apparently there's this thing called an H&H...hemoglobin and hematocrit. Hemoglobin has a normal value of 12-16 gm/dL in women, and hematocrit has a normal value of 37-48% in women. Mine were well below normal. I've put a call in to my doctor to find out the exact number since I don't remember, but as I said, they were well below. I needed a blood transfusion. 2 units. Thank you blood donors. :) The type and cross match on blood was funny since I know my blood type, MedicAlert knows my blood type, the Red Cross knows my blood type, but apparently the hospital can't take any of our words for it. Yet another 3 vials of blood gone, like I could spare any! Sheesh!

Getting someone else's blood pumped into you is an eery feeling. Really, you don't feel anything, but it makes your blood pressure drop. Who knew. So while they're pumping in the new blood, your vitals have to be tested every 15 minutes. There's this whole protocol. They have to have three nurses sign off that the blood you're getting is the blood that was sent to you. Then they have to sign off that they've inspected the blood. Like they have little microscopes to make sure that the tags were sewn into the cells properly...hahah. A little bloody humor.

Oh yeah, and I forgot to mention the best part! The hospital made me take off my insulin pump! Which was comical for them when I nearly went into DKA the next morning. If I recall correctly, I was +3 ketones and my sugar was 600+. I guess they forgot that if you need a pump and they take you off of it, then you *need* a basal insulin to replace what you're missing from your pump. Idiots. I got to put my pump back on after that. Yes, I did remind them about giving me a basal insulin, but they didn't get it ordered by a doctor. Stupid doctors.

All this, and I'm still dehydrated! Ugh. My mouth is dry, my eyes are dry, my skin is dry. I was released from the hospital last night. Guess what was the first thing I did as we drove away? I made Troy pull over so I could puke. Don't want that on my new car, you know? Also, my set for my heparin pump came out while I was getting dressed at the hospital, so I put a couple of gauze pieces on it and taped it pretty well. By the time I got home, I'd bled through that onto my clothes. As I write this, it's still bleeding and it's nearing 1PM! I look like I've been stabbed again, so does my bed. :( But hey, the baby is fine. :D

ETA: Finally got a call from my OB's office... my hemoglobin was 26% and my hematocrit was 9.1 gm/dL. As of yesterday at 8AM it was 31% and 10.3 mg/dL. I still feel like crap. :( Oh, it's 4:57PM on 3/19.

My blood pressure was great, which I was surprised about because I left my house late and got to my appointment about one minute before it was scheduled. Whew!

I have to say, I just love my OB. I'm totally comfortable with her if my plan of having an unassisted homebirth goes down the tubes... She told me today that she'd definitely be there for me if I want a waterbirth in the hospital, that if I go into labor and make it to the hospital in-time, that even if she's not on call, she'll come in. Woohoo! Of course, she'd prefer to induce me just after 39 weeks, but we'll see how everything goes. For now, I'm good with doing a UC.

The baby is looking great. He's still head down, starting to kick me in the ribs every now and again. His heart rate was 155bpm and strong.

I've gained 2 pounds, so that means I'm now at -4 pounds for this pregnancy. I'm expecting I'll gain another 10 by the time he comes. At my next appointment (on our 11th wedding anniversary!) I'll be getting an ultrasound done before my OB appointment. They like to start checking the fluid level and baby measurements monthly at 28 weeks. I believe that I'll have one more 3 week appointment after that and then it'll go to every 2 weeks.

Also at the next appointment she'll give me all the information for the hospital, getting pre-registered and taking a tour and such. I think I'll do all of that, just in case I don't end up UCing.

Okay, so I know that dreams are all about the fears that you may have or things that are going on, but this dream started out great and ended badly. So much so that I need to write it out!

The dream started out with me waking up in labor. We weren't in our house, I don't know whose house we were in, but it did "feel" like our house. (Which would be cool, since I liked that house and am sick of living in Seattle!) It was a very warm morning. There was another couple at our house, but I have no idea who they were, I'm assuming they were neighbors.

So I start laboring pretty hard in the living room and I end up giving birth on the floor of the room. Funnily enough, there was no time to fill our enormous garden tub, so I didn't get in there. (We don't have one of those in our current home.) The baby came out strong and healthy, it hurt but no too badly. I was on one knee and the other leg was kinda stretched out with my foot on the floor. I don't know what you'd call this position, but it worked out well.

I sat down and cuddled the baby, cleared off his face and just marveled at him. Soon it was time for me to birth the placenta, so I handed the baby off to DH. Apparently right after that I wanted to shower so DH and the neighbor guy got the baby cleaned up and dressed while I was showering. I went back downstairs and saw the neighbor guy with my baby, DH nowhere in sight. He had the baby in a bouncy seat and looking good, except that he had a bottle in his mouth!

I immediately took the baby away from him and took the bottle out of his mouth and tried to latch him on. He wouldn't nurse. I was so sad. :( Then I woke up.

The thing that bothers me the most about this is that my last two kids didn't nurse well after they were born. Shayna was actually hospitalized at 9 days-old because she was losing way too much weight. We learned later that she lost her suck reflex at her traumatic (cytotec induced) birth. Luckily a speech therapist happened in to our room at the hospital and showed me how to "exercise" her while she was nursing, and she quickly learned. She didn't quit nursing until she was 6.

PJ was born at 32 weeks. She had a slight suck reflex, but was quickly frustrated with nursing. People told me to pump for her and that when she was around what would be 40 weeks, she'd magically learn how to nurse. They were right, but that whole day (the day she was due), we went out shopping and I didn't bring bottles with me. She slept most of the day and when we got home she nursed like a champ. But that first 8 weeks was depressing for me... She ended up nursing until she was almost 4.

I really want to have the "magical" baby-knows-how-to-nurse-from-birth thing again. My first three were like that...I've had my hard to nurse kids, I want this one to be fine.

So I guess that's maybe my biggest fear - nursing. Not the birth, just the nursing.

So I went out to lunch with Troy, Chris and PJ the other day. At the end of our lunch someone from the heparin pump company called me on my cell. Troy and the kids got up as we were getting ready to leave the restaurant. I'm there, talking on the phone, gathering all of my stuff to put back in my purse and I'm searching crazily for... MY CELL PHONE!

Can I just say that I totally feel like my mom now?

I've been taking a nap in the afternoon lately. It's so nice that Troy works from home so that I can do that and not worry that PJ is getting into trouble... If he didn't work from home I might just make her take a nap with me. I don't know if it's the pregnancy that's taking a toll or if I'm not getting enough sleep at night. Either way, it's really nice to take a nap in the afternoon. :)

Unless... you have a set accident like I did during yesterday's nap. Whoops! It wasn't my insulin pump set, it was the heparin pump set. It seems that I must have scratched at it while I was sleeping or pulled on the tubing, something must have happened. I woke up from the nap with this cold and wet spot on my shirt. I looked down and it was like someone had stabbed me or something! A huge amount of blood was all over my shirt, and I don't even want to talk about the mess on my skin. Ick. I knew there was a reason they told me to keep the old set in for at least 12 hours after a set change. Sheesh, I'll make sure to definitely do that.

So my first set change for the heparin pump was a day early. Such is life, I guess. Also, the site is now a hard, huge lump. I'm kind of disappointed about that. I don't tend to get lumps under my skin with my insulin sets, and if I do it's because I left the set in for more than 4 days (you're only supposed to keep it in for 3 days). The site is also bruised like crazy. I thought the whole point of the pump was that the site wouldn't bruise. I'm going to have to yell at my OB about that one...

As of noon today, I'm a double pumper. :p I have my insulin pump and now I have a heparin pump.

The pump is the same case as my Cozmo, made by Smith's Medical. The thing I don't like is the sets... the sets are *awful*. They are the Orbit 90s. I suppose they're supposed to be like the Cleo's but the tubing is the real problem. The Luer-Lok connector comes up out of the cap, so it's scraping my side up. Ugh. The tubing is blue, so at least I can tell through the tangled mess of 42" tubing which has a bubble and which doesn't.

Another interesting difference is that heparin sets are allowed to stay in for 5 days. Yippee! My rate for the heparin is 0.024mL/hr. The 3mL cartridge lasts almost the full five days. I'm also glad that I have the clear holster from my Cozmo that I'm not using (because I'm pumping with my MM722 right now), so I have that instead of the stupid carrying case they gave me for the pump. It's like a big wallet that you clip on to your belt. No thanks.

I also now have to check my first morning urine for Glucose, Protein, Blood and Leukocytes. Oh yay!

For what it's worth though, I think these Orbit sets might have a smaller gauge than the Cleos. I could feel those going in and with the Orbit's I can't. Which is kind of strange since I was told heparin is a larger molecule than insulin, but if it's working through a smaller gauged set, it does make me wonder...?

My OB and I get along so well. We chatted about everything today...mostly to do with how women who are diagnosed with gestational diabetes should just immediately be put on insulin instead of trying to do the quite limited ADA diet for GD. I gave her my email address and phone number so that I could be kind of a "friend" to anyone newly diagnosed in her practice. What prompted this was the patient who left the office as I was coming in... I could have sworn that this woman was just told her baby had died inside her, she was carrying on so badly. I felt really sorry for her. But no, that's not what happened...she was told she needed to be on insulin because the diet just wasn't working for her. I do kind of feel badly for people who are dxed while pregnant, but you know, at least it ends with the birth of your baby!

So, I'm hoping to help convince these women that having to take shots isn't the end of the world...those needles are itty-bitty, they don't hurt, and honestly look at it this way: with insulin you can still eat whatever you want to! I guess the previous patient had told my OB that she was trying to kill this lady's baby... with what? Insulin? You're kidding me, right? IT''S A HORMONE PEOPLE! It's not like it's really a medication, it's something your body isn't producing properly (or it's producing it but your cells aren't using it right so you need some more injected). It's not going to cause cancer, it's not going to kill anyone (well, okay if you give yourself too much and don't eat to cover the insulin you took I guess it'd kill you, but come on don't be stupid!)

I don't mind being a support person, but my OB knows, I'm going to tell it like it is.

So, in other talks at the OB's, she mentioned that she'd like me on a heparin pump. I guess because I was complaining about the enormous bruises on my hips from the 25-guage heparin needles. To give you an idea of the size of that needle, it's the same size they use for the flu shot. A normal insulin syringe is 29-gauge. What they draw your blood with is 21-gauge (the green-topped needle, that is...the butterflies ~light blue~ are 23-gauge). Okay, so it's about middle-sized for things that have been stuck into me (I'm not counting IVs or the needles they use for pheresis), but the heparin was leaving enormous bruises. So, I'm being referred for a heparin pump.

Baby's heart rate was a little low today (152 BPM), but my OB noticed that I was dehydrated so that's probably the cause. She made me drink 32 oz. of water before I left the office. :p

So I was perusing the boards over at MDC and I came across this post, hijacked from another board. I thought the humor was stellar and the subject so incredibly needed sometimes. :)

My DH got sick of EVERYONE telling me, "You know, you don't get a medal for going natural!" in their own snobbish way. So what does he do? He gets me a MEDAL! LOL! I got a Copper one for birth #1 (In hospital, pitocin, no other drugs) and a Silver one for birth #2 (in hospital, drug-free). One of the family found out about our little gag gift and asked me if it offended me that he "rates your performance in labor". I was like, "No, if he started out giving me gold medals I could have never strive to do better." Then they asked how he "rated" me. Keep in mind that this is our GAG gift and is purely in a joking manner between my DH and I only but his rating system goes something like this:

Platinum- Home Unassisted birth (as long as it's perfectly safe), vaginal breech delivery (home or in hospital) or vaginal multiples delivery (home or in hospital).

Gold- Home birth with traditional midwife, drug-free.

Silver- Hospital birth drug-free.

Copper- Hospital birth with some kind of drug(s).

And then she asked, "Well what if you have to have a c-section?" and my DH goes, "She'll get a participation ribbon." LMAO! He was COMPLETELY joking but the look on that woman's face was priceless!

I figure that since I posted about Troy leaving me, I should post that he came back. :) His plane arrived about a half and hour early, so that was nice. The little girls had wanted to stay awake to greet him when he got home, but I saw that they were all falling asleep standing up. So I told them that I'd have him wake them up when he came in, so they'd be able to greet him then. I think Shayna was the only one who really stirred and uttered a sleepy, "I love you daddy."

Since he's been home, he's been working just as much as he was while out in NH. Funny, I don't ever *see* him working so much, but he's kinda set himself up in our room and is hanging out with me. That's been nice, except when he's on the phone...he's got a newly acquired loud phone voice. He doesn't seem to use it when he's on the phone with me, since I can barely ever hear him, but you'd almost think he was trying to shout his way to NH! It's quite comical. :)

All is back to normal now. The kids are off school for mid-winter break. What a stupid break. I swear it's for the teachers more than the kids (sorry mom!), but seriously why can't we just have a week-earlier end-of-school release instead of this stupid mid-winter break? It's ridiculous!

Not for real! Sheesh... :) He went off to NH for the week. Nice timing of his company, I think. Today is Tani's birthday (17th!), and he won't be back until Chris's birthday (19th!), which is Friday. Technically, I think with the flight and the drive from the airport he'll be back the day after Chris's birthday but Chris probably won't know that since he's probably going to spend the night out with his friends... :p

So I'm all alone, with the kids, for a week. I see major headaches in my future... Big ones. Ones that don't go away with Tylenol. Actually, it probably won't be too bad, I'm just trying to make Troy feel badly for leaving me a single mother for a week!

I wanted to paint Shayna and PJ's room this weekend. That didn't happen. I wanted to clean my room this weekend, that didn't happen either. I'm finding that when Troy leaves I drop into a bit of a depression...of course, maybe it the weather. Yeah, I'll blame that. The weather sucks here. It's gray, wet, cold. Yeah, I pretty much hate it here. Can you tell?

I have a friend who lives in Australia. I hear that it's somewhere around 114°F these days. I'd be in total love! Except for the power outages, where I'd have to just have to go spend the day at the pool or something. Comparing that temp to our crappy 45°F rainy, overcast weather...yeah, I'd jump a plane to the land of Oz if I could. Of course, I guess it could be worse... I could be living where and auntie of mine does, near Anchorage, AK, which is currently at 14°F. Brrrr! But hey, it's sunny there too! :D Gotta find that gold at the end of the rainbow, no?

I think I'll be okay this week. It's not like I haven't done this before. At least I'm not ready to push a baby out while he's on a trip this time... he's got a few months for that left yet.

It's so funny... every time I think that my appointment is all set and going to go smoothly, something crops up that makes it end up not-so-smooth.

Today's appointment was the 20 week check-up with the peri as well as the 20 week u/s scan. At least, that's what I *thought* it was. Apparently when I was there a month ago and the receptionist was making all the appointments for this one as well as the one for last Monday with the fetal echo people, she got confused and forgot to book today's appointment as the check-up *and* u/s. Whoops!

After talking with the peri, she went out and said that they'd be able to move things around and go ahead and do the u/s if I could just wait a few more minutes. That was fine, since I'd brought Troy and PJ along so they could see the baby. :) It did put us over-time to get home and let Kaycee and Shayna in the house, but I guess Kaycee had her key and got themselves in just fine...

The check-up was good, Troy reminded me of a few things to talk to the peri about, and all was good. The peri didn't even say she needed to see me again, so I guess they're done with me and I'm cleared for full OB stuff now... For the u/s we had the crappy technician again, I didn't see the good one there so we were stuck with the crappy one. At least this time she didn't try to force Troy to take PJ out of the room. That drove me crazy the last time... PJ was good, just needed to not ask questions during one part of the scan, other than that all was good.

I love the pictures that I got. :) One is a full profile of baby's face, and the other is a between the legs shot lol. I wish that this tech would have printed out more pictures, there were some great shots of his hands and feet too. Ah well. At least now, we can *really* tell that he's a boy!

Today's appointment was interesting. I had to get a fetal echocardiogram, which is done at a children's cardio group... So, other than the parents in the waiting room, I was surrounded by kids wondering why a mommy was there without her kid.

Anyhow, the little man is *still* a little man. Other than that, he was moving around so much the the sonographer was getting a little irritated that he wouldn't hold still so she could capture his heart really well. I guess I shouldn't have eaten that banana on the way there?

Eventually she got good tracings and afterward I spoke with the cardiologist. He says that the little man's heart looks perfect, the walls are the right thickness, and he wants to repeat the echo at 32 weeks, just to be sure that the walls of the heart don't get thick (apparently this is something that can happen to babies of diabetics and it's easily treatable during pregnancy but can be a problem after pregnancy).

So, we're good.

I have the detailed 20 week u/s at the perinatologist's office on Thursday. I'm sure I'll get a plethora of pics from there... no pics were available from the cardiologist's office since that's just a temp office and they only have portable equipment there until they move.

So seriously, why does every medical professional think that having T1 diabetes makes you some sort of high risk patient when you're pregnant? Ugh!

I went to the new clinic that I talked about in a previous blog entry. During the intake appointment everything was going fine, until the intake nurse asked what provider there I would like. I told her that I wanted a midwife, that I planned on having a waterbirth and that's why I was there. I let her know that one of my MDC friends told me about her rotation there and that they have great waterbirthing facilities. I guess that's when she checked my chart and realized that I'm a T1.

Her response, "Oh you're a T1... we don't allow people with T1 to have waterbirths." Um, what??? I explained that the friend of mine had told me that being a T1 wouldn't risk me out of having a waterbirth with them and that I would love the care I receive with these midwives/OBs. She was very adamant that I must be mistaken and that no diabetic had ever had been allowed a waterbirth. They've been allowed to labor in the water but *must* get out to birth.

I am sadly discouraged now. I think it's now time to take a serious look at unassisted homebirth. I can go and get my OB and perinatologist care, but just have the baby at home. My labors are so easy and fast, so unless there's anything showing on a test from the peri, I may just try to coax the baby out around 39 weeks... I don't think Troy will have a problem with trying the "natural induction methods" like, um, sex and nipple stimulation...! After the baby is born, I'd probably have Troy drive us to the hospital just to get checked out. Sometimes babies of diabetics have low blood sugars, I can check that at home, but I think I'd feel comfortable with having a doc check us out. That would also make it easier to get a birth certificate and social security card. :p

Why can't doctors stay out of the birthing process? Maybe I should fight the OBs on waterbirthing, making it easier for T1s to do so if they want. I dunno...

What an interesting conversation. She had apparently gotten a note from the front desk staff letting her know that I requested copies of my records to take with me to the midwifery office next Wednesday. I had arranged with the OB's staff to pick up the records next Tuesday.

Anyhow, Dr. S starts talking about how she doesn't want to lose me as a patient, she wants to make sure I'll be in a good OB's hands, etc. I told her that I'm planning on going to St. Joe's since they allow waterbirths. She seemed okay with that, but really didn't want me to leave her practice. Interesting, since she wouldn't "take" me as a patient until a perinatologist told her it was okay. Sheesh.

I think OBs are getting scared here in WA. Lots of malpractice claims going on, lots of interventions done, tons of c-sections. None of them want you to go into labor on your own, they all want to induce. It's total craziness.

Of course, in order to guarantee myself a waterbirth, I'll probably have to be induced. I hate that, but as long as they only use pit, I'll be fine. Pit works on me, I had it with Tania. I don't want to be induced before 39 weeks though, as I think that's when my babies are best cooked. :)

I had asked around MDC if any of the birth professionals there knew of any water birth friendly hospitals near where we live. For a few responses I got mostly the standard response that there are none. All of them will let you labor in the jacuzzis, but none will actually allow you to give birth in one of the tub itself. All of a sudden I got a response from someone who did a rotation at St. Joseph's in Tacoma. She told me that they have two "spa suites" where they allow you to birth in the jacuzzis. OMG! Seriously?

So I called our insurance company this morning and asked them if the midwifery clinic attached to the hospital is covered as an in-network provider with our insurance. They sure are! I called the clinic then and asked if they would take a patient who is already 17 weeks along...as long as I had documented proof of prenatal care, then yes they would! I asked if they'd take a T1 patient, and yes they will! I asked if there's any way for a T1 to have a water birth at St. Joe's, and yes as long as my A1c is in check! A1c is in check, definitely. Documented proof, check. Take a T1, check. YAY!

I do still have to go to an intake appointment to establish as a patient there, so that's on the 21st. Not too far away, thank goodness.

The only thing that may make me a little leery of Tacoma is that if I go into labor spontaneously, then I won't make it to the hospital at all. I may end up needing to be induced a little early, or on my due date, in order to be sure I'm at the hospital already. I really wanted a home birth, but obviously that may not happen. Then next best thing for me is to be in a hospital, birthing in a tub. The peri's won't let me go past 40 weeks, so as long as everything is good with the baby and my bgs, then I'll be okay with a small push of an induction. Pit yes, Cytotec no. Membranes swept yes, breaking the water no. You get the idea.

Since Troy and one other guy work for GraphOn from WA, he and his wife and Troy and I try to get together for dinner around Christmastime. Last year we didn't end up getting together and I was sad about that. I look forward to going out with Rob and TJ, they're way cool people. :)

Last night we met up at the Snoqualmie Casino. We ate at the buffet, which was good, but not worth the price in my opinion. Though Friday nights are crab legs nights, I can't eat seafood so the choices were limited for me. Maybe it's worth the price for seafood lovers... Afterward we sat in the lounge and talked abuot quite a lot of different things. Troy got to play with TJ's iPhone, Rob and I talked properties.

Troy and I decided to split from the Currey's and go play some slots while they played blackjack. After two hours, we came home with $53 more than we came with. Not bad for just playing slots!

Happy New Year!